At this time of year, the beginning, people’s mindsets are often centered on what we will do to make a change. How will we challenge ourselves to be better? Lots of people focus on their bodies, resolving to tone up or lose weight. Others focus on productivity, challenging themselves to get more done this year, to achieve and to succeed. For many, this time of year is about focusing on what went “wrong” last year, and how to “fix” it this year. Whether that’s getting more time outdoors because you sat in front of a screen too much or getting a pay raise to fix your bank account.
All of this is valid and right if that works for you. Challenging or pushing yourself is not wrong.
This year, I’m not challenging myself to be better or achieve anything at all.
This year, I’m treating my body to great self care.
Not with lavish acts or grand gestures. I’m focusing on the simple, every day acts that build the relationship with my body with repeated action every day. Yes, grand acts and gestures like solo travel and pedicures will come into play every now and then, maybe even often, but when given alone without the small stuff, like an apology, grand gestures kind of resemble the markers of an unhealthy relationship.
I like the way my body feels when I floss every night. This simple act of self care is an act of generosity and kindness to my body. So I resolve to floss every night. It’s a small act that says “I love you, body. I want you to last a long time.” Gum health is tied to brain and cardiac health. Flossing can help your brain and your heart! I’m sure my dentist will be happy, but truthfully, I don’t actually care. This is just for my own self.
My body benefits so much from a regular early bed time. I’m 40 now, and simply cannot pull all nighters without feeling like total garbage. It’s a punishment to my body to stay up late! This year, I’m treating myself by taking myself to bed at a reasonable hour for a 40 year old woman.
There are plenty of examples of small ways I’ll listen and give to my body this year and they are all simple things that the big things often get in the way of.
Sometimes huge goals, which might be perfectly valid and right, get in the way of hearing what our body truly needs and truly likes. And certainly when we fail to meet huge goals, the failure often results in unconscious punishment at our body’s expense.
One year, a year when I was doubling the size of a successful bus company from 15 to 30 buses AND getting married, I also made the resolution to go on 150 hikes and train for a marathon. I did not meet my hiking or my marathon goal, but I did double the size of that company, get married and stress cry a lot. There was not a lot of listening to what my body needed that year, only a lot of demands made on it. Lots of good came from that year, but so did a great many migraine headaches.
This year, all I resolve for myself is to take great care. There is nothing I need to fix, there is nothing wrong with where I have been, but change is coming in tiny little increments that all whisper “I love you.” In taking great care, I see myself more, understand myself and my body more, show up in the world and my work more consciously, and I will feel better. So while my intention is not to become “better”, it will likely be the outcome.